


The Only Promise

by WritersKitten



Series: Life in Arda [3]
Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 03:59:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8606359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritersKitten/pseuds/WritersKitten
Summary: I wanted to ask him to stay. I didn't. So I asked the only promise he could give. Please, return.





	

“Maitimo!” I pushed between the servants milling about in Fëanáro's courtyard, barely able to see red hair disappearing around the corner of the main house. Cursing softly, I ducked under a tall horse and sped up. Some yelled after me, but I ignored it.

I turned the corner, only to almost crash into crossed arms and a stern face. And it wasn't Maitimo's.

“What are you doing here?” Carnistir glared at me, his voice vibrating through me.

I opened my mouth to answer, then closed it. What was going on? Why did they have to leave? Couldn't it be amended? And even if Fëanáro had to go, why should Maitimo? Couldn't he stay? My brain shut down completely, and all I managed was to not cry.

Carnistir's face didn't soften one bit. “Leave.”

“No,” I croaked. “I need to-”

“You need to leave. Before dad sees you.”

That didn't seem right. Was he trying to keep me from trouble?

“Go. I'll tell Maitimo.”

“But-”

“Now.”

I backed up a few steps, hopelessly hoping Maitimo would pop up and promise he wouldn't be going anywhere. He would stay.

He didn't.

Carnistir's eyes rested on me, burning through me.

A hand landed on my shoulder and I froze. Fëanáro towered above me. “Go.” His voice was low, his eyes burning. “Bastard.”

I took off across the courtyard, towards the strees that would eventually lead me home to my room where I could curse them all in peace. Where I could lock the doors so not even my siblings could reach me. Where my parents were downstairs, trying – and failing – to make sense of everything that had happened.

It was just me in my little bubble.

  


I slammed the door behind me. The windows in my room shook. I locked the door, then threw the writing desk against it, barricading it. The cup of ink fell on the floor, spilling across the carpet. I picked it up and threw it against the wall.

It shattered into a billion pieces. Telperion's light reflected in the shards.

For a second I stared at it.

I threw open the wardrobe and dug into the bottom where a wooden chest sat. Unlocking it, I brought it over to the bed and opened it. Letters filled it. I emptied it onto the sheets, picked one at random and opened it.

  


_Dearest Finno,_

_I will be going hunting with Tyelkormo and Carnistir Friday evening, and we will be away the whole weekend. Would you like to join us? Once we are out of Tirion we could split up. Nobody will look for us there …_

  


I curled it into a ball and threw it across the room. Picked another.

  


_Finno,_

_I am aware this is a risky letter to write, but I need to make sure you are all right after last night …_

  


Cursing loudly I tore the letter in half and let it fall on the bed between the rest. I pushed my hands into my hair, cripping it tightly. Pretended that was the pain that made my throat tear up. Pretended that was the pain that made tears course down my face. That that was the pain that had me double over so I barely could breath.

I screamed into the pillows.

Time passed.

At some point I drifted off.

When I woke up, someone was hammering on the door. “If you don't open this door immediatelly, I'll run it through!”

I recognised that voice.

“Finno!”

Slowly I pushed myself up. Sheets of paper crackled beneath me. I trudged over to the door. Shoved the writing desk aside. My hands shook. I fumbled with the key. Hair fell into my face. My face hurt.

Finally I managed to unlock the door and stepped back.

The door opened slowly, as though the one on the other side was scared of what he might see.

I smiled crookedly.

Maitimo stared at me, his face pale. Behind him I could barely see my siblings. Maybe mum and dad as well. But I didn't really care.

“Finno …”

“Hi.” I was still smiling. My voice was haorse. I tasted iron. How much had I screamed?

Carefully Maitimo approached me, reaching a hand towards me.

Everything became blury.

He brushed the hair out of my face. Tucked it behind my ear. I must had undone my braids at some point. The golden silk lay on the carpet.

“Finno …”

The smile finally broke. I thought I had dried up completely, but fresh waves washed over me.

He took my face in his hands, kissing my cheeks. Then pulled me to his chest. It was warm. Familar.

I buried my face in it, gripping the back of his tunic tightly as I shook.

Again time passed.

When I became aware of it the next time, we were curled up on the floor. Maitimo was holding me tightly. He had stopped muttering comforting nonsense long ago. Silence enveloped us. He combed his fingers through my hair, carefully untangling the knots.

“Maitimo.” My voice was still hoarse. I still tasted nothing but iron.

“I'm here,” he promised.

Silence.

“Finno, I …” His voice cracked.

“You're leaving,” I finished.

“I'm sorry,” he croacked. “I told dad I had to say good bye to someone. He knew it was you. He tried to hold me back. We had just left Tirion. I came back as fast as I could.”

“What's the time?” I asked.

“Almost morning.”

I snuggled closer to him. “Take me to bed, please.” I didn't ask him not to leave. I didn't ask him to betray his loyalty to his family. I wanted to, but I didn't. All I asked, was that he promised to come back.

His arms tightened around me. His lips pressed against my neck, slowly moving towards my shoulder. Then he gathered me in his arms and lifted me off the floor. He placed me on the bed and I locked my arms around his neck.

Our lips crashed together. “Please,” I gasped. “Return.”

“Yes.”

For the third time I lost track of time.

 

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. For those who didn't catch the time and place, it's when Fëanáro leaves for Formenos, and his sons go with him.  
> 2\. I suppose it's almost canon that Maitimo is incredibly loyal to his family (the oath is proof enough), but I seriously believe Findekáno would make him conflicted. Now I kind of want to break off from the original story-line ...


End file.
